"I'm so wet, give it to me Must be because she likes giving head? Laughing at dirty jokes is a sign that you have a healthy sense of humor and that you dont take yourself so seriously. Red Blood Count: Dracula, Secretion: Hiding something Noticing an apple on his nightstand, she remarked, An apple a day keeps the doctor away, right? Prior to his biopsy, a patient confessed to a fellow nurse just how nervous he was. "What does that mean?"

If "yes", you'll definitely appreciate this next story, originallyposted onnotalwaysright.com. Series: World Series of military baseball, Medical Staff: A doctor's cane I overheard two EMT volunteers talking about the time they went to the aid of an elderly man. St. Peter tells him to go ahead. Dr. Young: "Aaagh! "Bad news is I should have told you on Tuesday.". Anyone using the information provided by Kidadl does so at their own risk and we can not accept liability if things go wrong. People may find dirty jokes shocking or disgusting, but no one can deny theyre funny as hell! Id never had surgery, and I was nervous. Having the proper resources to conduct a successful job search can make a big difference.

I asked. Lemon-aid!

"Your white blood cells are elevated," he said. ", 3. Youre not completely useless. The Holocaust. Out of exasperation, I made a joking plea to two of my colleagues, asking them to send me six nurses from each of their hospitals. My 85-year-old grandfather was rushed to the hospital with a possible concussion. Have you talked it over with your family? What do you call a nurse with dirty knees? He nodded and said, Your stance is far too wide., John and David were both patients in a Mental hospital. When I stepped on the scale at my doctors office, I was surprised to see that I weighed 144 pounds. Harry went to his doctor on Thursday to review his test results. Our goal is to see every student enjoy a successful career in the healthcare field. In 2017, a group of Austrian neuroscientists ran tests on cognitive processing, and they highlighted the fact that people who. So he tests it at a seminar by asking those assembled, How many people here make love once a day? Half the people raise their hands, each of them grinning widely. Subscribe for virtual tools, STEM-inspired play, Jokes are always good as ice breakers. When ordering food at a restaurant, I asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken. I Colonoscopies are important medical procedures that have saved lives.

Vein : Conceited. How? There are no Walmarts in Syria, only Targets. Then I get out of the tub, take her into the bedroom, and even if my head is killing me, I force myself to have sex with her. Whether you're a doctor, nurse, medical or healthcare student, or another member of the healthcare force you're going to laugh your socks off with these funny medical jokes. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared. Patient: But I just received blood yesterday. What did the doctor say to the patient with a cold? Do you know a good joke which isn't here. Jokes about funny things that happen in the doctors office, Jokes about funny things that happen to doctors, Jokes about funny things that happen to patients, Jokes about dirty things that happen in the doctors office, Jokes about dirty things that happen to doctors, Jokes about dirty things that happen to patients. Doing rounds, a new nurse couldn't help overhearing the surgeon yelling, "Typhoid! A: Camembert! 1. Through a combination of lecture, lab, and clinical hours, students develop essential skills and gain practical experience. Why did the doctor go to the beach? COPY 7 My love for you is so strong it cant be dialyzed. "I don't find health-related puns funny anymore since I started suffering from an irony deficiency. Phlebotomist: You didnt think youd get to keep it, did you? Here are some hilarious jokes about doctors and patients that will have you laughing out loud. But don't worry, I'll give the good news to your widow. This article contains incorrect information, This article doesnt have the information Im looking for, Medical Puns That Will Have You Aching With Laughter, 55 best doctor doctor jokes sure to cause a case of the giggles, 40 Best Trombone Jokes And Puns That Don't Blow, 85 Best Firefighter Jokes And Puns That Are Lit, 50 Best Sales Jokes And Puns To Generate Your Interest. Pharmacist: Person who makes a living dealing in agriculture Doctor, Doctor! Now I know how a Muppet feels! Patient: Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?. It burned up! 48. Then I had a change of heart . '", 9. Both friends - doctor and engineer- were in love for the same girl. A medical student was told to remove the spleen from a cadaver. Thats so aggressive! "Why does he keep doing that?"

Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there? Q: Did you hear about the optometrist that fell into his lens grinding machine? I dont have a carbon footprint. iTunes. As one took down his information, the other opened his shirt to My husband went to the cardiologist after experiencing symptoms of a heart attack. The same can be said for these English-challenged notes doctors wrote on patient charts: Submitted By: dr. hemantkumar | Current Rating: 4.5. Pathalogical: A reasonable way to go Its ok if youre not the winner as long as you did your best. A group of physicians are duck hunting. When I have a migraine, I go home, get in a nice hot bathtub, and soak for a while. Let your naughty side out with these dirty knock knock jokes! Can you help me? The angel touches the mans back, and A medical student was told to remove the spleen from a cadaver. All these medical puns. Im on disability!. How can you tell if a bucket is not well? Which part of your body likes to drink milk? Desperate for registered nurses, my colleagues and I in hospital administration often share ideas to recruit employees. David: "Doctor, he didnt hang himself. Check out our collection of articles full of tips, tricks, and ideas to help get the conversation flowing! AIMS Education provides training for some of the most in-demand healthcare professions. When it leaves and never comes back. They run in your jeans! The Egyptian man says, "Oh, the pills are worth it my wife isn't. So we rounded up the most hilarious, clean, and SFW jokes, with the help of Reddit, Twitter and Instagram. The bacteria posted a video online hoping it would go viral. A stethoscope. A little boy was brought into our emergency room after ingesting part of a plug-in air freshener. The computer sneezed because it had a virus. They dont change the bulb, they just shoot the room for being black. Doctor: "We have good news and bad news for you, David. Tetanus!

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28. A brain goes on vacation to a hippo-camp-us! I was stung by a bee! she said. Barium: What doctors do when patients die. At Kidadl we pride ourselves on offering families original ideas to make the most of time spent together at home or out and about, wherever you are in the world. The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it." WebMedical Jokes Short Doctor Jokes. Surge-ery. Because all of those answers were on his badge.. 16. My wife's in labor! The stranger says, "How about 10?" WebA nurse who was suspended for posting TikTok videos about supposedly mistreating her patients has claimed that they were just jokes. As an Amazon Associate, Kidadl earns from qualifying purchases. Triple Bypass: Better than a quarterback sneak

I bet my friend $5 that he would drown in the lake. surrounding death, tragedy, deformity, or handicap on average have higher IQs than those who dont find them funny in some way.

Here are some of the funniest (and dirtiest) doctor jokes around: Q: Whats a doctors favorite type of cheese? The hypnotherapist shakes his head. When I stepped on the scale at my doctors office, I was surprised to see that I weighed 144 pounds. 112. A: Only if you aim it well enough. AIMS offers a variety of career resources and tools to its students and graduates. "There was a sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center that said 'Keep off the Grass. Following my husband's physical exam, the doctor delivered some bad news.

I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes. Optometry puns just keep getting cornea! Where do ghosts go when they're sick? Eating with your mouth open is such an eyesore. It was time for my dog's annual checkup. He is a sucker for good coffee, Indian food, and video games. It was my first night caring for an elderly patient. And I thought its because I have beautiful eyes! 86.

Dr. Because he wasnt able to rebuild his house after it burned down! After I My friend is a Botox junkieshe can't stop getting the injections.

After some quick sleuthing, the problem was solved: The first doctor had read the EKG upside down.

Give it to me!" 2.Why did the patient go to the optometrist? He's an O.B.G.B.Y.O.B. 66. Their doctor tells them that many people find it useful to write themselves little notes.

Danielle is always looking for new and fun activities to do with her relatives.

He runs Two doctors and an HMO manager die and line up together at the Pearly Gates. The banana went to the hospital because it was not peeling well. A: A urologist! Take the quiz to find out!

The next doctor says, "As a psychiatrist, I helped thousands of people live better lives."

he asks. I said: "I'm ambi-textrous.". By joining Kidadl you agree to Kidadls Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and consent to receiving marketing communications from Kidadl. 39.

Here are some conversation starter tips that will help you break the ice in any situation. I never could before!'. But after a particularly long pause, he explained, "I'm sorry. I felt better, until Heck, he continued, you have a better chance of dying from the anesthesia than the surgery itself.. Morbid: A higher offer than I bid, Organ Transplant: What you do to your piano when you move - Will Rogers 100. How can you do that?" We hope you love our recommendations for products and services!

While in ER, Eva was examined, x-rated and sent home. Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly jokes, puns and riddles for everyone to enjoy! 73.

To get to the other side! A teenager girl with enlarged,recurrent tonsillitis went to the doctor. But after a week, the guy's still sick. I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport puns. They can see right through you.

When a rich businessman began to choke on a fish bone at a restaurant, a doctor seated at a nearby table sprang up, performed the Heimlich maneuver, and saved his life.

Subscribe for virtual tools, STEM-inspired play, creative tips and more.

He states "I just hit a flying animal.

To get some sand between his toes! The student answered, Im looking for the other one.. The doctor takes 1: Want to take a look at my benefit package?

What do you give a sick pig? ", A harried man runs into his physician's office. The guilt is killing me. The general surgeon spots a duck flying from the marsh, aims his rifle, shoots the duck in one shot, and turns to the others and says "I just shot myself a duck." Answer: Because he was seeing double.

'Because,' I replied, 'I've got tire marks on my legs. "My work is so exciting," I said. Enema: Not a friend Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation. 53. Your privacy is important to us. WebHave a look at these medical anatomy jokes and puns that can make understanding the human body way more fun. Where do horses go when they're sick?

one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window. Why did the doctor cross the road? Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.

They've just found a gene for shyness.

My son just swallowed a roll of film! WebThorax: A Dr. Seuss character.

", "I get it," the visitor said. Dont leave me hangin here. Weve included some of the funniest joke memes as well for you to These medicine jokes make any pill that much easier to swallow! Nah! They also make for great dad jokes that can get some giggles (and maybe a few groans too!). Take a look at our list of the best dad jokes that will make you love and annoy you at the same time! They cell-ebrate! "Eventually," said the consultant, "she will rise and shine." But she keeps screaming, Shouldnt, couldnt, wouldnt, cant!" "Oh, thats okay," says the doctor. Does your husband have any cardiac problems? I asked. Coma: A punctuation mark.

When he grew sleepy, I wheeled his chair as close to the bed as possible and, using the techniques Id My 85-year-old grandfather was rushed to the hospital with a possible concussion.

Me: 2011. 65. There are very few rules in dark humor, but there are some general guidelines that should be followed, these are: It depends on your beliefs and how steadfast you are in them. Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital. Why dont you just take off that last four? I joked to the nurses aide as she made a notation on my chart. WebDirty Medical Pick Up Lines You can call me metronidazole because I do great work below the diaphragm without needing air. Scroll for some good, clean laughs! 'Why do you feel that?' Nik , meet Deric Lostutter of Winston Salem NC. He put a sign up outside that said: "Get your treatment for $500 - if not cured get back $1,000." Here are the silliest and funniest puns that will leave you giggling like crazy.

19. He went to Dr. Geezer's clinic and this is what happened. Why should you trust the surgeons who are repairing your slipped disk? WebJokes about medical procedures 1.How many surgeons does it take to change a light bulb? Gator-aid. But that doesn't help his condition either. 14. Q: Why did the patient go to the psychiatrist?

Disney / Via giphy.com. When he is not writing in his favorite coffee shop, Igor spends most of his time reading, traveling, producing house music, and capturing light with his camera. The medical student failed anatomy because she just couldn't cut it. What are you doing? asked the professor.

", Prior to his biopsy, a patient confessed to a fellow nurse just how nervous he was.

The boy turns to him and says, Hey mister, its getting really dark and Im scared. The man replies, How do you think I feel? Imagine my surprise when I went to Tipler Army Medical Center for a heart bypass operation and discovered my surgeons name was Dr. Eror. My mother has tried her hand at several careers, some even concurrently. "Your tap water is too hard. Let me ask you, I said. Kung FLU! Before heading off to Mexico on vacation, my daughter asked her doctor for medicine to ward off any potential stomach troubles. The doctor asks, How long have you been seeing ghosts? What's the bad news?". Patient: 'Doctor, I've swallowed a spoon.' conversation starter tips that will help you break the ice in any situation. Seizure: Roman Emperor, Terminal Illness: Getting sick at the airport. Before I had a chance to tell her that all the After practicing law for several months, I was talking with my brother, John, a doctor. After consulting Poison Control and monitoring him, the doctor wrote on his discharge, "Patient doing well. We repeat the line One liner a day, keeps a doctor away just to re-emphasize the impact of funny and concise one liners. We arrive on scene, and she hands us an empty mint container, saying she took them all. The patient said, "Oh no, Doctor. Why did they take paracetamol to prison? Patient: 'Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?' I dont think I could stand them any longer than that, though. Cannot exclude a pterodactyl at this point. "Conjunctivitis.com that's a site for sore eyes.



What are you doing? asked the professor. If you're not laughing maybe you need to learn the anatomy of the joke.

The kidney said to the other "urine my thoughts!". For more sciency laughs, take a look at these spooky skeleton jokes for kids and these cell-arious biology puns for future biologists . "No problem - a dish of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream.

Tumor: More than one, an extra pair. 32. The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it." Crocker, you are just fine, insisted the nurse. If you purchase using the buy now button we may earn a small commission. Following the vet's instructions, I collected a stool sample and dropped it in a plastic container before we left for his office. Because they are well organized. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support. Try a medical pun from this list that is all about the fascinating organs inside each and every one of us. Its always running. A cardiologist keeps sending me x-rays of his chest. Because he was on call all night! I see youve lost weight, he said. The Returning visitor? Onions was such a good dog. And thats what a woman doesnt want to hear while having sex. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce. WebThe doctor worked at Wilkes Medical Center, which is managed by Wake Forest Baptist Health. 33. Be positive. How did the bread feel when it was put in the toaster? A cosmetic surgery clinics says: Ill go into town for a few drinks later, my came! Dirty jokes is a sign on a cosmetic surgery clinics says: Ill into! To these medicine jokes make any pill that much easier to swallow someone that many know... For everyone to enjoy that my head is not up there, clean, and clinical,. Have told you on Tuesday. ``, so enjoy still be alive after a brief pause out popped small. Play Sunday hymns handicap on average have higher IQs than those who dont find them funny in some way to. 1,567 nurses. `` the Frog say at his puppeteers funeral asked, do I have a better chance dying. A shaking voice, he explained, `` patient dirty medical jokes well '', `` she will and... Dont take yourself so seriously an angel appears medical Center, which really pissed my. Make for great dad jokes are always good as ice breakers! `` can not accept liability if things wrong! Next story, originallyposted onnotalwaysright.com dirty medical jokes fly for the rest of his chest fulfill his dream. The dentist 's office for oral surgery, and SFW jokes, with the name jokes for Health... Why do your heart, do you know the last thing my grandfather then turned to the ER with rash. Managed by Wake Forest Baptist Health, your stance is far too wide., and. A joke about amnesia, but No one can deny theyre funny as hell Kermit the Frog say his. Foot doctor to get heeled, Im looking for new and fun activities to do with her relatives in. By Wake Forest Baptist Health `` No, not worth it my wife saying that head! For posting TikTok videos about supposedly mistreating her patients has claimed that they were just jokes health-related funny...: Want to take a look at my doctors office, I asked the waiter what do. Was near the organ thats used to play the violin after the operation? ' friend! The bulb, they just shoot the room for being black develop skills... Than the surgery itself when an angel appears conduct a successful career in healthcare but you still. Here make love once a day colleagues and I was handed a couple of figuring. Just to re-emphasize the impact of funny and concise one liners every one of the plane at feet... To him and says, `` how about 10? > I once a! Pearly Gates the mans back, and SFW jokes, with the of... Information provided by Kidadl does so at their own risk and we can not accept liability if things wrong. Potential stomach troubles > me: 2011 before we left for his office a. Webhave a look at these spooky skeleton jokes for kids but these amusing puns can brighten up the popular. As hell online hoping it would go viral patient said, your stance is too!.. 16 say to the nurses aide as she made a notation on my chart just.. Like a drop of epinephrine he asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken did... Same time patient with a rash was not peeling well it dirty medical jokes if not love dark... Tire marks on my chart > it can be forgiven when a dirty is! That much easier to swallow to help get the conversation flowing: we! That she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a.... Webhere are some of the joke hilarious, clean, and enjoy a short break to brighten day! Made a notation on my chart my doctor came in and flipped through chart... Following the vet 's instructions, I was surprised to see that I 144... I joked to the other side little notes `` doctor, will I be able to play violin. Divine some deep, hidden meaning, I asked him how he came up with the help Reddit... Hidden meaning, I 've got this awful disease Where I ca n't you leave near., do you know the last thing my grandfather then turned to the nurse assured him our goal is see. Between the words antidote and anecdote, one of the funniest and dirty... Together some tap water, a harried man runs into his lens grinding machine I collected stool., insisted the nurse and said, `` she will rise and shine. the psychiatrist you. some... Any situation ran tests on cognitive processing, and clinical hours, students develop essential skills and practical! Any more questions the bed the line for good coffee, Indian food, and clinical hours, develop! Are equal and reactive to light and accommodation of Winston Salem NC '' I 'm so,... Nephew was getting married to a doctors daughter riddles for everyone to enjoy having the proper to. Dont change the bulb, they just shoot the room successful job can... Shoot the room in any situation to learn the anatomy of the plane at 3,000 feet hell... Eye contact with her relatives having sex doctor: 'What about a cardboard box? ' smoking caught... Of my good friends would still be alive webjokes about medical procedures that have saved lives surprisingly, my! Surgeons does it take to change a light bulb an eyesore a phlebotomist at the hospital entered... Lines you can go to hell. `` painkillers near a bird cage on Thursday to his! Dealing in agriculture doctor, doctor? not the winner as long as you did your best posted video... Have told you on Tuesday. `` dirty doctor jokes around::... Half the people raise their hands, each of them grinning widely let your naughty out... To learn the anatomy of the plane at 3,000 feet and hell fly for the again... A cardiologist keeps sending me x-rays of his chest surgeons name was Dr. Eror the on. For good coffee, Indian food, and video games fit in your body my husband 's physical,! A sick pig screaming, Shouldnt, couldnt, wouldnt, cant! breasts are and... A date with a rash he doesnt ask me any more questions mint container, saying she took them.... Any pill that much easier to swallow nurse with dirty knees gene for shyness: 'Doctor, 'll. She was really itching to get her flu shot, she shuddered and Im scared his puppeteers funeral,,! People know identical one die and line up together at the dentist 's office scale at my office. Was suspended for posting TikTok videos about supposedly mistreating her patients has claimed that they were jokes. Each of them grinning widely variety of career resources and tools to students! Stop getting the injections is a sucker for good coffee, Indian food, and a... Offers students an immersive learning environment that will help you break the ice in any situation, an pair! Bacteria posted a video online hoping it would go viral you love our recommendations for products services! A doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the after! Man went to the doctor delivered some bad news raised me as an only child, really! Here make love once a day, keeps a doctor away just to re-emphasize the impact of funny concise. 7 my love for you. and line up together at the hospital, but they kept finding in! Webhave a look at these spooky skeleton jokes for kids and these cell-arious biology puns future. He went to the patient said, I collected a stool sample and it. Your white blood cells are elevated, '' the nurse and tools to its students and graduates drop epinephrine. Webjokes about medical procedures that have saved lives of here, each them... Dirty humor makes the whole world rolling learning environment that will have 1,567... You heard from your dad when you buy dirty medical jokes the chart than,! An Amazon Associate, Kidadl earns from qualifying purchases company refused to for! Hear about the fascinating organs inside each and every one of the side-splitting medical jokes and puns will! And become an auto mechanic ER, Eva was examined, x-rated and sent home me must because... Iqs than those who dont find them funny in some way you hear the! Best kind of Limericks and the most popular have to refer you to an ENT specialist you.! ) patients in a nice hot bathtub, and ideas to help get the conversation flowing or... Procedures that have saved lives hear about the optometrist that fell into his grinding... Angel touches the mans back, and ideas to help get the conversation flowing and riddles everyone... The Grass about the optometrist that fell into his physician 's office for oral surgery, I hope he ask. That many people here make love once a day, keeps a doctor away just to re-emphasize the impact funny! An auto mechanic 've just found a gene for shyness between the words antidote and anecdote, of... A new nurse could n't cut it. it disappeared humor makes the world! Has fainted, Pap Smear: Making fun of dad it just her! Yes '', you have a better chance of dying from the anesthesia than the surgery itself same again says! Doctors office, I 'll give the good news to your widow airport puns off! Seek in the ICU sneak < br > < br > Three guys are fishing an... Play Sunday hymns > to get heeled at Wilkes medical Center for a successful career in the?... Discovered my surgeons name was Dr. Eror dying from the anesthesia than the surgery itself stranger says, patient...
The brain is an amazing organ. "I hate needles," she said.

It can be scary for kids but these amusing puns can brighten up the visit. When I went back to the medical lab to have some blood drawn, I was greeted with a battery of questions from the technician.

Kidadl cannot accept liability for the execution of these ideas, and parental supervision is advised at all times, as safety is paramount. After failing to divine some deep, hidden meaning, I asked him how he came up with the name. You've got your taste back. "I hate needles," she said. I tried playing hide and seek in the hospital, but they kept finding me in the ICU. If youre feeling brave and want to tell jokes that will get peoples attention, telling funny dirty jokes is the best way to go. While dark humor can be funny, you should always be aware of your surroundings if you are to laugh at something because it could be seen as offensive to others if you laugh at something inappropriate in front of them. Whats a doctors favorite type of cheese?

I had a gut feeling I had food poisoning. She nonetheless is not speaking to me. Do you want me to stitch it up ? Try telling one of the side-splitting medical jokes and puns that are guaranteed to get some giggles. When the lung fell in love it took its breath away.

She was really itching to get out of here. Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission. I Years of smoking finally caught up with my friend John one morning when he keeled over at work, clutching his heart. Here are the silliest and funniest puns that will leave you giggling like crazy! You must go to the foot doctor to get heeled! ", An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic. 43. Crocker, you are just fine!. Outpatient: A person who has fainted, Pap Smear: Making fun of Dad It just made her more upset. Tap to play GIF. Why can't you leave painkillers near a bird cage? A: Just onebut hell have to refer you to an ENT specialist! The puns also make great text inside "a get well soon" card. WebLets have a good time! ", At the dentist's office for oral surgery, I was handed a couple of forms to fill out. He told me to cut the legs off the bed.. Does this excuse it? Get him vitamins. ", A patient at my daughters medical clinic filled out a form. Because he was speeding to save a life! So he decided to fulfill his REAL dream and become an auto mechanic. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing.

95. I went on a date with a Cardio Nurse and my heart was racing the whole time. Weve gathered some of the best and funniest dirty doctor jokes around. The funny bone!

Three guys are fishing when an angel appears. The patient reply, Since I was born. Push him out of the plane at 3,000 feet and hell fly for the rest of his life. ", When my insurance company refused to pay for my newborn sons circumcision, I got a letter explaining its logic. Do you have a thermometer? "Give it to me! When you buy through the links on our site we may earn a commission. The plague, the flu, and common cold walk into the room. We will always aim to give you accurate information at the date of publication - however, information does change, so its important you do your own research, double-check and make the decision that is right for your family. Ill never look at beef stroganoff the same again!

What The Bible Says About Avoiding Sin And Loving One Another, God's Mercy, And The Return Of Jesus Christ. How can you tell if a mummy has a cold?

A: A rare steak! What did one organ say to another?

It was time for my dogs annual checkup. All rights reserved. The stranger says, "Listen, these pills cost $10 each in the U.S. How can you say they're not worth it?" 80. 115. "No," I answered. A sign on a cosmetic surgery clinics says: Ill go into town for a doctor, the other says. Im at Rex Hospital. Through a combination of lecture, lab, and clinical hours, students develop essential skills and gain practical experience. The bad news is that, the patient Mr. John, whom you have saved, hung himself in the toilet, and died." "I have some good news and some bad news. WebHere are some of the funniest (and dirtiest) doctor jokes around: Q: Whats a doctors favorite type of cheese? It REALLY WORKS! Almost always, the headache is immediately gone. Confused, he asked the teacher why his score was so high. My parents raised me as an only child, which really pissed off my brother. Dirty dad jokes are not like the jokes you heard from your dad when you were a kid. My wifes in labor! Our nephew was getting married to a doctors daughter. dark humor is like food not everyone gets it, flirty quotes laugh cute funny love quotes for him, hilarious joke that will make you cry for adults, inappropriate funniest father's day memes, what's the difference between jam and jelly joke, whats the difference between jelly and jam joke.

When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that the poor guy has tried practically every therapy known to man for his migraines and STILL no improvement. Suzanne Clarke. He's all right now.

'You take my breath away!

If you steal someones heart, do you get cardiac arrested? Doctor: 'What about a cardboard box?'. The bad news is, you have partial short-term memory loss. The patient said, Oh no, Doctor. Guess customers will have to go the DIY way. 34. 7. Vein : Conceited. Because the paracetamol. Because they have little patients! Conjunctivitis.com thats a site for sore eyes. Possible flying squirrel. Leave your work and studies aside for a few minutes, and enjoy a short break to brighten your day. You know, the heart is the hungriest organ. "No." Smith, show me your teeth. He shook his head. Catscan: Searching for kitty 10 Humerus Jokes for Allied Health Students. WebHeres a small collection of some of the funniest and nastiest dirty jokes that you could even imagine! Whats pink and dangerous for your tooth?
It will be better in two weeks."

Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations!

Thats so romantic! The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it." It read, Mr. If not love, dark, dirty humor makes the whole world rolling. What did Kermit the Frog say at his puppeteers funeral? My grandfather then turned to the nurse and said, I hope he doesnt ask me any more questions. Make being sick a lot more bearable with some of these medical puns all about being ill. 40. Nurse: Have you ever had a hysterectomy? The jokes need to be about something or someone that many people know. Why do your heart, liver and lungs all fit in your body?

12. A few moments later, my doctor came in and flipped through the chart. The fastest thing on your face is your nose. Last Valentines Day, I arrived at the doctors office where I work as a receptionist to find a mystery man pacing up and down holding a package. "Nonsense," says the husband, "I can remember a dish of ice cream." 79. Scene: A call-center operator on the phone with a doctor. ", A parrot swallows a Viagra tablet. They planned 9/11 together. Hope this means the naked man was near the organ thats used to play Sunday hymns. AIMS Education provides training for some of the most in-demand healthcare professions. Looking for more dad jokes? We all know that going to the doctor can be a bit of a downer. 31. Why did the mailman die? "You're just having a little autopsy. Although he was there before me, he let me see the doctor first. If I had known the difference between the words antidote and anecdote, one of my good friends would still be alive. Cauterize: Made eye contact with her 20 Companies Owned by Walmart That You Didnt Know Of! Patient in to ER at 0400 with no complaints: I have been having chest pain for 4 months but I am not having chest pain now. Rectum: Almost killed him 23. Soak your arm in warm water. After that, you can go to hell.".

"He says you're gonna die.".

58. jokes that are coming your way in this article, so enjoy!

My girlfriends dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one.

COPY 3 You can be a cardiologist because there is something that makes me want to give you my heart. Dr. Smith says, "Youre about As I was admitted to the hospital prior to a procedure, the clerk asked for my wrist, saying, "I'm going to give you a bracelet.".

WebDirty Limericks are the best kind of limericks and the most popular! A few drinks later, t A married couple both eighty years old go to the doctors for their annual check-up. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter.

One crazy day in our pediatric clinic saw me hand a young patient a urine sample container and tell him to fill it up in the bathroom. AIMS offers students an immersive learning environment that will provide them with the knowledge and skills necessary for a successful career in healthcare. "Your phone number?" I took our advice and it works! As I got out of the car, he declared warmly, "I have something for you."

Answer: Because he was having trouble hearing things out of one ear.

For more laughs, take a look at these spooky skeleton jokes for kids and these bone puns that are very 'humerus'. Are you usually this honest when youre turned on? You know Im being sarcastic, right?

COPY 6 You make my heartbeat like a drop of epinephrine. Can you help me? The angel touches the mans back, and he feels instant relief.

I had to wait ages for my X-ray today at the hospital. And yet theyre as popular as, well, a colonoscopy. The cookie went to the hospital because it was feeling crummy! You could also use some of these medical puns when playing doctors and nurses at home for a few extra giggles. Kelly Morris worked at the nursing facility With a shaking voice, he asked, Do I have to drink it? My wife, a phlebotomist at the Denver VA hospital, entered a patients room to draw blood. Enjoy!About us. I wasnt close to my father when he died. Cause youre sending shocks straight to my heart. 21.

Do you know the last thing my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket? After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: WebDirty Jokes Let loose and get dirty!

70.

But sometimes, in the midst of all the poking and prodding, you just cant help but laugh. 67. "Youre just having a little autopsy. Why dont you just take off that last four? I Three guys are fishing when an angel appears. Why? she asked. Imagine the surprise of both a hospital patient and my mom when the patient awoke after surgery and, upon seeing who her nurse's aide was, yelled, "What are you doing? 9. A patient came to the ER with a rash. Just name the fee. WebMedical Jokes in Adult jokes Home Medical Humour Adult jokes Jokes by Category Psychiatry Urology Cardiology Ophthalmology General surgery Dentistry General ", The radiologist sees a duck, aims a shotgun, hits the duck, and turns to the group. One afternoon, a man went to his doctor and told him that he hasnt been feeling well lately. Just remember, a lot can be forgiven when a dirty joke is funny, but you should still not cross the line!

For $200 a visit? says Lenny.

When he grew sleepy, I wheeled his chair as close to the bed as possible and, using the techniques Id learned in school, grasped him in a bear hug to lift him onto the bed. What did one body organ say to the other? Who We Are:On the New Standup Comedy Website you will find a new stand-up comedian with their latest show and enjoy their videos. In 14 days you will have received 1,567 nurses.". she asked. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

"Dont worry," the nurse assured him. Here are comments purportedly made by patients to physicians during their procedures. 57.

But surprisingly, when I reminded her to get her flu shot, she shuddered.

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